Ever wondered what the term is for that lovely person who never seems to fully disappear from your life.. via their sporadic and noncommittal, yet repetitive messages? Thus taking up valuable room in your already overcrowded head space?
Luckily for us, everything in this day and age has an appropriately assigned term! And this fun, new, HORRID act has been entitled, breadcrumbing.
I assume it originated from the Hansel and Gretel tale, when the meaning of breadcrumbs was to lead one back home to their happiest, safest place. Unfortunately, in this digital age it means quite the opposite. Breadcrumbing now leads us astray, awry and into utter agony.
Let us begin with a perfect description of a breadcrumber a la The New York Times, “A person who is not interested in you, but interested in themselves staying relevant to you.”
Unsure of what that looks like? We’ve laid it out here in a cute little list because who doesn’t love one of those. (Also making it quicker and easier for you to determine if you’re a victim or worse, a perpetrator.)
Guilty AF if..
- Said human loves to strike up a convo to “check in” after zero contact for months.. even years
- When they reappear, they pretend as if nothing happened!
- Throws you the occasional Instagram or Facebook like
- In one of these random “check ins” gives an apology for how things played out that time you Actually dated…then casually wants reminisce over your “sexy time” moments
- Dares to suggest an outing but never follows through (and never planned to)
- A SUS number of their texts are sent after 10pm
We believe this is someone who either wants to keep their options open but needs the comfort of knowing that person is still semi-interested in them, wants to keep someone “on hold” because they are not ready for a relationship but might be in the future OR (and most likely) is bored and/or lonely and needs someone to send raunchy pics to.
If you are guilty… for the love of all things good, STOP.
If you are a victim, do yourself a favor and STOP all communication.
It’s savage, it’s rude and it’s some majorly f’ed up emotional torture that don’t nobody have time for!
If you can’t bear to completely delete them from your life, on account of that occasional itch, then PLEASE KNOW they are worth nothing more than your absolute least amount of time and effort.
By: Brittany Hillyer
A former professional dancer with the New York City Ballet who takes life one step (or should we say leap) at a time. After leaving the stage Brittany completed her bachelor’s degree and joined the Out Of Office team. With an infectious energy and irresistible smile she’s reveling in everything the city has to offer from the world of arts to the world of advertising.