Purse-wine. It’s a thing now. #bestthingever
When I turned 21, social events went from sitting on a pile of Jeff Horowitz’s smelly Urban Outfitters band t-shirts in the dorms to the previously elusive bar and/or cocktail lounge. Being a fancy adult who was legally able to purchase a cocktail, however, did not instantly translate to being a fancy adult who could afford a cocktail: New York’s ubiquitous $14 cocktail is no friend to the full-time student/part-time nanny/part-time Anthropologie sales associate.
Learning this the hard way (re: several emails from my dad), I taught myself the ways of the purse-drink, the girl-about-town’s best and most frugal friend. Am I an alcoholic? No (?). Am I just a gal who sometimes needs a glass of wine and a cry on the go, somehow often spends $50 on a pasta dinner, and then is consistently surprised when I’m broke? Yes.
Luckily, we live in a beautiful age of portable wines, all which can fit comfortably in your going-out purse. Here are some of the best:
Bandit ($6-$10): The Go-To
Okay, I’m getting emotional because this was my first purse-drink. A quality wine that comes in a colorful 500 mL box (also comes in a full liter, if you’re feeling frisky), this is your go-to purse-drink for anything from going to a bar you can’t afford to attending your work-friend’s improv show. Being approximately the same shape, size, and colors as boxed coconut water, sip away at leisure and people will assume you’ve just come from chakra-healing (or whatever people who drink coconut water do, I wouldn’t know).
Recommend: the cab. sauv., unless your purse is a refrigerator or you don’t mind room temperature Pinot Grig. Fits best in medium to large purses.
Sutter Home 4-Pack ($6): Best for Movies with Friends
Don’t disregard Sutter Home just because your grandma drinks it! While not the best tasting wine, it’s not the worst either. Sutter Home offers a four-pack of mini bottles that you can split with your friends when you go to see whatever sad Kristen Stewart movie is out right now.
Recommend: the pinot noir is the best option here. The bottles are très petite and can fit in a small clutch and the whole pack would fit easily in a larger purse.
Underwood Wine Cans ($28 for 4-pack): Best in a Crowded Bar
On the pricier side, but not bad considering each can is about half a bottle’s worth. I thought this would taste tinny, but their pinot noir is actually something I’d write home about, considering I have a home to write to after my mom reads this. The important thing to remember with this purse-drink is that there’s no screw-cap, so it works best in a crowded bar where no one will notice when you pour a can of wine from your purse into a water glass while in the bathroom (that’s right, you left your pride at the door when you clicked this link).
Recommend: best purse-drink for whites, the can keeps it cooler longer between fridge and bar. Can fit in small purses and/or fanny-packs.
Sofia Wine AND Champagne ($10-$17 for 4-pack): Best for Feeling Fancy on the Down Low
Damn, did you just do your laundry for the first time in two months? Toast yourself because no one else will care about life’s smaller achievements. This is your fanciest purse-drink, the fanciest part being: STRAW INCLUDED. Sip away Marie Antoinette, you deserve it, cheers on making your own doctor’s appointment.
Recommend: it’s the world’s cutest champagne. Treat this one nicely, put it in something small and glitzy, you go girl.
Thelma and Louise, Cher and Dionne, you and your purse-drink. The world isn’t ready for you two. Go on, young grasshopper, take on the world of low-key, potentially illegal (someone let me know about this), fiscally-responsible drinking.